tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-373767772024-03-14T04:02:56.405-05:00Moving OnI'm a mom of 2 wonderful kids. Nurse. Recently re-married to my ex-husband and continuing the journey of "Moving On"Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.comBlogger242125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-71409494843463876632014-10-28T21:47:00.001-05:002014-10-28T21:47:49.589-05:00It's starting already...The anniversary of Dads death is coming up quickly… Nov 26th to be specific.<br />
Im starting to feel it already… The sadness is creeping in slowly, little by little, like a thick fog.<br />
Do I just take it in? Feel the sadness? Shed some tears??<br />
Or do I go with the norm..hold it in? be strong? try to forget??<br />
<br />
I don't feel like this about my mom this far away. A few days before maybe. but not a month.<br />
Maybe because its the first year. or the way he died. I haven't been to the grave yet. I don't think I want to go, but then I think I should.<br />
<br />
My plan is to get a tattoo for him on the anniversary . I don't know if it will make me feel better, but at least I will have physical pain to go along with the pain in my heart.<br />
<br />Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-46276460922691159942014-07-13T10:08:00.004-05:002014-07-13T10:08:19.476-05:00This has NOT been fun…in case you were wonderingOn Wednesday I went and received the Methotrexate injection for this "baby" problem I've been having.<br />
I was supposed to go in, have a shot, get some labs and leave. WELLLL, I got there at 6:30 am and had to be triaged. I went to a room , and the nurse came and took blood and also gave me an IV, which I didn't think was necessary, but whatevs.<br />
1 PA, 1 attending MD and 1 guy I have no idea who he was, later I saw my MD. Dr Shepard, is a sweet, soft spoken woman that can draw a mean uterus. She showed me where i was cut and why this could have happened. Basically they missed a spot, and the sperm is so small they can get through the tiny, very tiny, hole. Fabulous. But, this is "unlikely to happen again"…really lady. She agreed it sounded stupid even as she was saying it.. So in reality it can happen again.<br />
She left to order the meds and i fell asleep . after a 12 hr shift i was shot. I woke up at 9:45…WTH!<br />
I went out of the room and was assured I wasn't forgotten, there was a question about the dose. great.<br />
Another MD came in to give me the injection. 2 actually, one in each butt cheek. She then told me I have to have labs on Saturday, and this Tuesday to see if the numbers are coming down. Then once a week until they are under 5. Expect some cramps and some light bleeding. OK I can handle that.<br />
Finally I got to go home, with my sore arse…<br />
I went with the hubby to look at a new car for me. (yay me, another post) and went to get the kids at camp at 1, just hung out the rest of the day. Very light spotting and no cramps..All Good..<br />
Thursday came and we went to Toyota to look at another car (yay me) ..B had a game so we hung out at home at he pool. Still feeling ok, i can handle this.<br />
Friday morning at 6am…Holy Sweet Baby Jesus…I woke up out of a dead sleep with horrible cramps and bleeding! Sweet mother, i was in pain. I stayed up, in fear of hemorrhaging in my sleep. This was not "some cramping and light bleeding" Thank you .<br />
The whole day consists of Mortin, then Tylenol, bleeding and whining. Then the hubby leaves for CT for a baseball tournament. Worst. timing. ever.<br />
I take the kids to dinner then Family Fun Night on main street. All the while taking meds and drinking peppermint tea to settle my cramps, which didn't work. and all i wanted to do was curl up into a ball, but of course couldn't while being the only parent here and all.<br />
I broke down and called the Gyno at 9pm on friday. Oh its normal, she says…It means the med is working, she says…It should last 24 hrs, she says…well she lies! all day yesterday, again today, pure misery!<br />
I was supposed to go to the beach today, but I am miserable. So i cancelled, to my daughters dismay.<br />
The hubby is on his way home thank goodness. I have to work tonight so yay me.<br />
I have the option to have my fallopian tubes removed so this doesn't happen again. But, that brings up a whole other group of problems i.e. early menopause, hormone therapy and basically being a bigger bitch than I already am.<br />
I don't think my marriage would survive that honestly. So I'm back to labs and limbo.<br />
<br />Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-32982323311366098572014-07-03T20:59:00.001-05:002014-07-03T20:59:39.488-05:00So I'm Pregnant!?<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> So I am pregnant. I think. Well I know I am, but it's not good, because I had my tubes tied in 2012…so not good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> I'll start from the beginning . I was supposed to start Shark Week, June 23rd..and didn't. That was a Monday…By Saturday I was peeing on a stick, 2 actually, and they came back negative. So a call to the gyno was in order. The NP called back and didn't seem to concerned about the whole thing. She faxed me a script to get lab work for a Beta HCG test, AKA a pregnancy test. I went on Monday, and also went for an ultrasound that showed nothing, because its too early to show anything , in any place. On Tues, I got a call that the results were 62..and in a non pg woman , it would be 5..Uhhh Ohhh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> However, its not a high enough number for a "normal" pregnancy, so she thinks its hanging out in the fallopian tubes. Yikes…I have no symptoms whats so ever. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Soooo, I went for labs again on Wednesday. I got a call from a DR, her name is DR. Lien. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She was very nice and explained the situation this way:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* my number is now 162, doubled but still not where it should be for a "normal" pregnancy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* I have to go get labs every 48hrs for 2 weeks to see where my numbers go. Then go for an ultra sound , and hopefully it will show where this egg is hanging out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* Then I have to go to the ER for an injection of a medication to take care of it from my tubes (if its there)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* If its actually in my Uterus, it probably won't be viable and I would need a different med for that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* I would then need a Dye test to see WHY my tubes aren't completely tied, then i'm assuming i would have to go and get them "retied"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* Oh and if this egg is in my tubes and is too big I will have to get my tubes removed all together. But I won't know until this "situation" is resolved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So now I'm floating around in Limbo…with no PG symptoms and no Period symptoms….just hanging.</span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-50062504719771896602014-06-04T02:11:00.002-05:002014-06-04T02:11:28.159-05:00Much Happier <span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Its been 2 months since I have written anything. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Honestly, the last post was a freakin bummer if I do say so myself, and I couldn't stand reading it every time I logged in.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The past few months have been rough for me. Some marital issues and anger and just plain blah has emerged..</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Someone needs to tell the blahs that they need to go away in the spring…its for winter only!</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, now its June, and warm, and lovely, with sun and fun and pool time. I am clearly aware how the seasons effect by disposition.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Baseball season is in full swing. My son is awesome, but his team sucks…hate to say it but I think they named the movie "Bad News Bears" after his team, minus the winning at the end. I feel bad for my son, however, he isn't the best on the team by far, but he loves it and he is good .</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The hubby started his baseball Coaching as well. It shows how much he truly loves it. He is so proud of his "guys". We always talked about when we had kids he wanted to coach his son in baseball. His dreams are starting to come true. He coaches the 17 yr olds now , but he has Nick at practice with him and coaches him as well. It shows, Nick has gotten so much better.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My girl is full on into Soccer. She has gotten so good!! Thats all on her coach Kelli, she has them playing all yr and it shows in how good she has gotten.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Im in the process of signing them up for summer camps..</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Summer is in FULL swing!!</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">June is full of, Field day, 5th grade field trip, moving up ceremony and mama panicking over JR High…</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Still Moving On…..</span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-89190734570281982262014-04-02T02:31:00.001-05:002014-04-02T02:31:49.083-05:00I Have to Believe…..<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> There is so much sadness going on .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have to believe it will get better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> There is so much death in my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have to believe it will get better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Sometimes I feel the crazy never ends, the UPS the DOWNS, the blows don't stop</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have to believe it will get better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Always waiting for the other shoe to drop…and It always drops..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have to believe it will get better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> The Spring is here..the birds are chirping, the buds are popping through</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It WILL get better</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> My family is loved, they love me unconditionally, UPS and DOWNS</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It IS getting better</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> My love is my love FOREVER</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is the BEST.</span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-74003963757367530022014-02-05T03:36:00.003-05:002014-02-05T03:36:41.222-05:00It's that time again....Its the worst time of the year again. February. I hate it. Seriously. Even though its the shortest month, its the saddest for me. (Although November is now a close 2nd)<br />
My mom's 5year anniversary of her death is Feb 6th and my Mother in Laws 10th is Feb 12.<br />
They were both great people, and loved so much, and taken way to soon.<br />
<br />
My plans for my moms day is to go to a M.D. appt I have and then go by the cemetery, which is covered in snow now. My sister thinks its peaceful, I find it gloomy.<br />
I find this whole crappy month gloomy actually.<br />
<br />
There has been a lot of snow, and that includes sledding from my kids.<br />
So if their happy, I'm<br />
happy (sort of)<br />
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Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-69045306075420424532013-12-17T00:43:00.002-05:002013-12-17T00:43:58.702-05:00SidewaysI'm feeling sideways,<br />
Not up and down, like normal people feel.<br />
Sideways. My world was flipped around when my dad died, and when it landed, it did not land straight up at all.<br />
I feel like, i'm in a dream state, like I am going through the motions of life because I have to, but I'm not really doing it.<br />
I'm sad. A Lot. I cry on a whim (which I hate)<br />
I have pictures in my head of my dad on the couch, with a blanket over his head and body, just his legs and feet out.<br />
I am terrified that it will happen again to someone I love.<br />
I need to straighten up, and get back on track. I'm tired of being sad, and feeling like I have a void in my life, that can't be filled.<br />
I'm just SidewaysStacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-72309929083961967982013-12-10T05:11:00.001-05:002013-12-10T05:11:32.428-05:00Daddy Oh Dad!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Daddy oh Dad, what have you done<br />
Where did you go to?<br />
Where did you run?<br />
<br />
We've spoken so briefly,<br />
Hardly, at times<br />
<br />
You were still my Daddy<br />
You still were mine.<br />
<br />
You left without a word,<br />
Not one little goodbye<br />
<br />
I can't believe you are not here...I can't<br />
I can't try!<br />
<br />
You left your family, your loved ones, your friends<br />
Could this be it? Could this be the end?<br />
<br />
I see you in my dreams,<br />
Your voice in my head<br />
<br />
I can't get you out<br />
No proper GOODBYE was said.<br />
<br />
I miss you daily...you're in my heart<br />
Fly up to mom , and don't ever part!!<br />
<br />
Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-46489874467236688552013-11-04T23:39:00.001-05:002013-11-04T23:39:15.164-05:00Bucket Lists...HUH? I don't particularly understand nor do I like Bucket Lists.<br />
I believe they are way too much pressure on a person. (I also feel the same about New Year's Resolutions, which is why I don't make them.)<br />
<br />
So let me get this straight, It's a list of things you want to do before you DIE...DIE.. what if you don't get to all of it? Does your remaining family members have to finish the list?? Cuz I'm not bungee jumping anywhere yo.<br />
And every time you do something on the list, or think about the list...you are thinking about DYING??<br />
Well I DON'T LIKE IT.<br />
Here is MY bucket list..<br />
1. Get all the laundry finished before the week ends, and the baskets refill. ( I will definately die before this happens, who am I kidding??)<br />
2. Make it to my next nail appt. without breaking a nail<br />
3. Make it through food shopping at Pathmark without seeing someone shopping in their pajamas<br />
4. Hopefully live long enough to see my children go more than a day without fighting with each other..<br />
5. Go to Target, Stick to the list, make it out under $100 (God willing)<br />
6. Clean my house and let it remain that way for more that 2 days. (my kids may have to move out for that one.)<br />
<br />
So that is my mini Bucket List. That. I can handle.<br />
Do you have a bucket list?? Whats on it??<br />
<br />Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-34556592546903422272013-08-20T02:21:00.000-05:002013-08-20T02:21:08.138-05:00Family and Summer...Great Mix<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My Sister-in-Law and her kids came to visit in July. We had such a great time with them, that it made me very sad when they left. Usually I'm fine when family leaves, because they are usually on my nerves anyway. However, this visit made me sad because I realize how my kids don't have a lot of family around them.<br />
My mom and mother in law, both are in heaven. My father is doing his own thing most of the time, as is my sister and niece. My Father-in-Law and his wife are around but his health isn't the greatest as of late. There are no other kids in the family besides my niece and nephew that are in Far Away Land Texas... :( . They got along so well, and just blended like cousins should. My son LOVES my nephew and wants him to be his baby brother. My daughter took my niece under her wing, and bossed her around as only she can...<br />
<br />
The rest of the summer went by so fast, it was ridiculous. Both kids had camp, which kept them very occupied, and off each others nerves for a while. The hubby had his baseball coaching, that kept him off my nerves for a while :) . We didn't go anywhere for vacation, just some beach trips, and went to Splish Splash. ( Do you wanna know how old you really are?? spend the day at Splish Splash!)<br />
<br />
I am looking forward to the kids going back to school, just not the drama that goes along with it. But I am sad to see summer go..Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-26283353138822815802013-07-05T23:12:00.001-05:002013-07-05T23:12:23.488-05:00Our 4 year Anniversary..<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This summer has been busy so far, and the kids haven't even started camp yet. </span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Husband took on a position for assistant coach for a varsity baseball team. He loves it, but it certainly interferes with our life sometimes, Nick had baseball, and Sara had Soccer, any my work schedule changed AGAIN... (it's only July BTW)</span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For example out anniversary. Its July 3rd , and I was finally off from work, and could maybe celebrate ON THE DAY. That rarely happens . But, his team had a game, so alas. we are going to celebrate on Saturday, July 6. </span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dinner and a movie, it is. It could be sandwiches and netflix on his phone, as long as we were out of the house, alone, with NO kids, just ourselves. Our Married for 4 years, selves.</span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It seems much longer, but I guess, being that we have been together for 13 yrs, (minus3), it has been longer.</span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I have to say, this years road has been a rocky and winding one. (mainly because I was drunk all of the time, NO im kidding, not the whole time anyway.)</span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> We have had family drama, (as per the usual), new tenants move in, and a construction done in that house. ( money stress). Sickness, (his dad) and our own little relationship issue that I won't get into here. </span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would hope that it has made our marriage stronger, since we have been through just about everything a relationship can go through at this point.</span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I still Love and Adore him and our life.</span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4yrs doesn't seem like a long time, but in OUR case, it's a lifetime.</span><br />
<br />
Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-41710084363371687072013-05-15T02:11:00.001-05:002013-05-15T02:11:37.224-05:00My Mother's Day<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> I love being a Mom. I really do. And not just cuz there is 1 day set aside to appreciate me and all I do and to get gifts and stuff. (gifts are always good)</span><div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> I did get a wonderful gift from my family. Its an Oragomi Owl necklace. Its a round necklace that you can put your favorite charms in. I was impressed cuz the hubby did this without any prompting from me, in fact I had no idea he even knew this existed. So the charms he picked were: a turquoise and a diamond charm (kids stones) a key with a heart (me and him) a puppy paw, a nurse symbol, a book, and a mom charm. All the things I love. Very impressive Honey.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Aside from the cool gift, my kids are truly my gift.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The way my , way too tall, son comes to sit on my lap and snuggle on the couch. All his limbs everywhere because he just doesn't fit, but he just "wants to snuggle".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The way my daughter was talking to me before work on the porch, her beautiful blond hair loose in the braid I just made her. Telling me an animated story from school, the sun hitting her face, as her blue eyes sparkle and the flecks of yellow bright. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The way, my son puts his arm out in the bed when I wake him up in the morning, so I can lay down with him and he wraps his arm around me. (stall tactic I know), breathing his dragon morning breath on me...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The wonderful Mother's Day card my daughter gave me that says she "loves my smiles and giggles and love".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I just love them so much, and my life is so much better with them in it. </span></div>
Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-78992792276584110322013-05-04T01:10:00.001-05:002013-05-04T01:10:51.012-05:00My Man He is the funniest person I know (besides myself of course)<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span> We have<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>been through some stuff! Ups and Downs, forwards and backwards, births and deaths, marriages, divorces, ex's, family drama, kid drama. The works.<br />
My best friend for sure. My therapist, my entertainment, my biggest fan (as I am his), my sounding board, my rock through the storms, my heart is his, and he knows my soul.<br />
He would give the shirt off his back for you. And I would gladly snuggle inside of it.<br />
He is a great father, and my kids are very lucky to have him, as am I.<br />
My life wasn't the same without him in it.<br />
And I'm so glad he is.<br />
The Love of my life now and Always<br />
Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-6115297477657668532013-04-16T21:21:00.001-05:002013-04-16T21:21:04.355-05:00My Baby Girl....She is just like me in so many ways, and my mother wished her on me. I hope i didn't torture my mother as she does me.<br />
She has a spark to her, a light that shines so bright.<br />
She argues like a seasoned lawyer<br />
Makes valid points<br />
And always wants her way.<br />
<br />
Her smile lights a room and her beautiful eyes, with flecks of yellow in blue, sparkle at times.<br />
She loves her music, her dance, her energy.<br />
She is 8 yrs old now. She has the other half of my heart in her little palm of her hand.<br />
My baby girl, my world.<br />
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Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-6058561552504344582013-03-30T02:32:00.002-05:002013-03-30T02:32:57.932-05:00My Baby is 10!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He was such an easy baby. Always laughing and playing. Very social and lovable .</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He is no longer my "baby". He's 10 now. I have had this love in my life for 10 whole years.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Hes so funny</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Hes soooo Smart!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Quick witted , loves games, any kind, mostly video. He loves board games, and recently gotten into Monopoly. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He loves Math, and numbers.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He is active. Loves his sports. Rocks at football & baseball. Loves anything WWE.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Wants to be a wrestler when he grows up.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Loves his family. A bit of a mamas boy (I don't mind)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Got over his fear of animals, and is in love with our puppy.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He is a shining star in my life. My first born baby, that can go anywhere and do anything he wants in life. I love him more than life. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm so happy he's mine.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-20518707520298061622013-02-06T03:33:00.001-05:002013-02-06T03:33:57.924-05:00Gone But Never Forgotten <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Hi Mom,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> You have been gone for 4 yrs today. I will never forget the phone call from Dad saying that he thinks you are gone.I got to your apt in record time, just to see you laying there looking like you were asleep.I think about that night often. The details are so vivid still. They sent 2 VERY old men to take you out of the apt, and I couldn't help but think that if you were alive, we would be laughing at how old these poor guys were, and they had to lift you and carry you and a stretcher up the stairs.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I really miss your sense of humor. I definitely got mine from you. I still laugh inappropriately at things , and think how I can't wait to tell you, just to realize I can't. I miss our "double talk" we used to do, although I could never speak as fast as you could. It used to make dad SOOO mad that he couldn't understand us.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Your wish came true, and my Sara is EXACTLY like me! She makes me nuts, but she is so funny and charming but has to have the last word! I tell her all the time how you used to get so mad at me for that. She loves stories I tell of you. When I went to your grave for your birthday, she asked me to say a prayer for you. She is a thoughtful child that way.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Things have gone a little off track since you have been gone. I don't know if you could have done anything about it if you were here, but you could definitely been another opinion and voice of reason for dad. Lately I have been playing grown up and I don't like it. The two oldest people in this family , the ones that should know better, dropped the ball. It is what it is and they will find their way in there own time.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> There are so many things I miss about you. The way you answered the phone, with that "Hello" twang. The times I would come over for coffee in the morning to catch up. Asking you cooking questions for sure! I really miss you not being here to see your grandkids grow up. They are doing so great and they are so awesome. You would be proud of them.Sara is a spitting image of me, and Nick of Bryan. It's scary really..</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I regret not talking to you as much as I could of when you were in Fl. You used to complain that I never had time on the phone. ( which was true, I had 2 little kids). But I feel that I missed out so much time talking with you, that I only realized after you were gone. (Isn't that always the way)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I will always be glad and grateful that I was able to have you stay with me for a while, and that I was able to take off from work and take care of you in your last few days with us.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I think about you often, I miss you all the time. I love you xxoo </span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-22170804869967237812013-01-30T14:39:00.003-05:002013-01-30T14:39:50.677-05:00And Coming Back DownI was so pissed last week. I went up 1.6lbs after a good week and excersize. <div>
So this week, I decided to do the opposite , kinda. I still ate better but refused to excersize. Ok maybe refused is a strong work. Its more like I didn't have time and I was kinda bummed out anyway.</div>
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So I weigh in today and tad a! down 3.6!! OOOkkkk don't know how that happened. I kinda do I guess cuz i do watch what I eat, but i was surprised. Pleasantly so. </div>
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Yay me. So now I'm on week 3. and I got my 5lb down sticker. 5.2 to be exact. Now lets see if I can do it again next week.</div>
Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-3934206719800879002013-01-25T23:03:00.001-05:002013-01-25T23:03:15.772-05:00Going Up!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"></span><br />
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<div class="wordWrap" id="blogContent" style="color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; width: 535px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="display: inline; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />So i weighed in today and i went up 1.4lbs. It is so frustrating, because I thought I did so well this week. I excersized 4 times this week. It was my hubbys birthday and i did have a piece of cake but I accounted for it i thought. Grrrr. I was so mad all day today. I guess I have to try harder this week.</span></div>
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Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-63308800548792860422013-01-25T22:54:00.001-05:002013-01-25T22:54:56.140-05:00<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><tbody style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
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Here we go again (last time)</h2>
<a href="http://community.weightwatchers.com/Blogs/CreateBlogPost.aspx?threadId=1752033" id="SocNetBaseMainContentPlaceHolder_MainContentPlaceHolder_uctrBlogPost_linkEdit" style="color: #006699; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Edit</a>, <a href="http://community.weightwatchers.com/Blogs/ViewPost.aspx?threadID=1752033" id="SocNetBaseMainContentPlaceHolder_MainContentPlaceHolder_uctrBlogPost_linkButtonRemove" style="color: #006699; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Remove</a><div style="color: #505050; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0pt; margin-right: 0pt; margin-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Written by <a href="http://community.weightwatchers.com/Profile/UserProfile.aspx?sid=11015945" id="SocNetBaseMainContentPlaceHolder_MainContentPlaceHolder_uctrBlogPost_lnkAuthorProfile" style="color: #006699; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">stacyo40 (stacy)</a> on 1/20/2013 4:00 AM</div>
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<span style="display: inline; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">I'll be the first one to say that I am a chronic dieter. One day I would wake up and be all like.."i think i wanna be skinny" and then I start to "diet" or my version of it anyway.<div style="color: #505050; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
That would last a week maybe or two. Then I try to get my husband on board and since he knows me so well he would be like "ok babe I'll diet with you" and then roll his eyes all up inside his head...</div>
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Even my kids know me. My 7 yr old girl would say..."but mommy you aren't fat"... don't know if she is really seeing me like that or if she doesn't want to get dragged to weigh ins and meetings with me. (she's 7, she's conniving).</div>
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Anywho..this time is for real...no really. Its winter, my jeans are tight, my bras are tight. The only thing NOT tight is my **** ..</div>
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Ahem...well a friend of mine has also joined and we are walking together in the morning. I must be for real cuz its 30 degrees here yo!</div>
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So my first weigh in passed on Wed, and I have to say i was nervous. I started on a Wed and then worked nights Thur-Sat. I have been confused with the points on the night shift.</div>
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I figure my points all day thurs, then when I get to work I TRY not to eat until Midnight so I can track it for Friday. NEVER works cuz by 10pm I'm hungry. So i pack a snack for 10pm. I eat my "dinner, lunch, breakfast" whatever to call it...at midnight, and track it on Fridays points, since technically it IS Friday. I didn't think that was going to work, but LO and BEHOLD weigh in proved that it was.</div>
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I lost 3 lbs the first week. Now I know its "water" weight, but I don't care! Honestly don't. It's down, not up and thats all I care about. Because my poor friend that joined with me went UP .6 HER FIRST WEEK. Poor thing. I felt bad for her really, cuz she tried. Hard.</div>
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So here I go again...and I promise its my last time. If it don't do it right this time, i resign to be chubby forever and ever and ever.....Moving on!!</div>
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Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-31197655204891022002012-12-26T20:05:00.000-05:002012-12-26T20:05:20.975-05:00Disappointment<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I Love my life now.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">That has not always been the case however.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I have had a lot of disappointments in my life. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Although, my childhood wasn't "bad" it wasn't stable in the least. A lot of moving, and lack of financial stability.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I have had good relationships growing up , but my first marriage was a failure, and my second one was close. Thank God that was put back together properly.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I always thought I had a close knit family. We had some ups and downs like all families, but we always remembered that we were family. It feels that ever since my mom passed away, people in my family just lost their dam minds.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am used to the disappointments from my family by now, but this takes the cake.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I almost want to just wash my hands of them, and all their drama.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm tired of being the rational one</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm tired of being the voice of reason</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm tired of being the one that always has to make the right choices. Be the "grownup"..</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm just tired.</span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-19594553371403284792012-11-08T23:57:00.002-05:002012-11-08T23:57:24.312-05:00My New Job<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I started a new job in home care with a company called Bayada. They are a very nice company that really cares for their clients and their staff. (so far). I'm just saying that I always like a place when I first start and then something comes up and WHAM! Hating it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I have never worked in a place or a company that doesn't have co-workers I can talk to...anyone. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Its not exactly a BAD thing, because you know, drama free. But sometimes it gets a tad lonely. Im a talker and a joker and a people person, so to just talk to the family member for a short time, and my patient takes some getting used to.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> That being said, I like it. I like the clients, the pay and my schedule for now. I have missed almost all of Nicks football games because I work Saturday into sunday and mama needs her sleep!. That stinks, but hopefully next season will be better.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I am currently in a happy place in my life. xxoo</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Keep Moving On.....</span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-30423983379655706242012-10-06T23:58:00.000-05:002012-10-06T23:58:49.176-05:00I'm 40...Holy Crap<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OK. Just for the record, I don't think I LOOK 40. Not that I know what 40 really looks like. A lot of my friends are 40 and they look younger, so I'm lumping myself in with them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">However, I FEEL older than 40. I have aches and pains that my mother complained about in her 60's. But then again, Im getting acne like I did when I was 15 so....Hmmmm</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway, The 30s where a <b>CRAZY </b> bunch of 10 yrs yo.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lets start with 31...pregnant with Nick and got married (first time) So that was a great year!! 32 moved into our new house, after waiting for it to be rebuilt after it burned down Hmmmm, still good. But lost my mother in law to cancer. Not so good.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">33 had Sara... yay good! 34 me and the hubby broke up and got divorced so NOT a good year. 35 & 36 were pretty crappy years, a lot of struggling being a single mom and working f/t. My mom had cancer as well and came to live with me before she died. 37 Mom died and me and the hubby worked things out, got back together and remarried..yay Very bitter sweet year.....38 got a job I loved at a hospital, took our first family vacation ever!! 39 1/2 lost a job i loved in a hospital. Currently working at a job i love in Home Care.(fingers crossed).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At 40 I can honestly say i feel content. I am very happy in my marriage, and my family life. My career is good, as is my husbands. My kids are healthy and happy. I have some regrets with some decisions I made in my 30s but now I am embarking on a new decade. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will work on being happier and healthier, the best wife and mother I can be.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Happy Birthday to Me!!</span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-58810605118005146242012-10-01T00:24:00.000-05:002012-10-01T03:53:30.203-05:00I Don't Understand .... When me and the husband decided to start dating and then eventually marry again, there was a lot of talks. I mean ALOT. There were things to go over, and hash out . We spoke about what went on in our marriage . What went wrong and what went right.<br />
The decision to start to date again, came after coffee dates, and talks. It wasn't a decision that we jumped into. He didn't immediately stay overnight, we didn't tell the kids or even my family.<br />
When we finally decided that it was what we wanted, that our happiness and our family was worth another try, we told everyone. Mostly everyone was supportive. There are always the few people who will have their doubts and questions. The ones that were there when it fell apart and stayed by me and saw the hurt, and anger. The true friends. Eventually they saw that we both changed and it was right. We are the loves of each others lives, and there is truly none else out there for the other one.<br />
But, there is always that one (or even 2) haters that have so much to say, about things that they have no idea about.<br />
This person/people are cowards of the worse kind. They spew poison and hate wherever they go. Their lives are so empty and sad that their happiness comes from trying to make others unhappy.<br />
I am sure that I am not the only one.<br />
But heres the thing. Ain't gonna happen. You can say the worst of the worst and none will believe you.<br />
We fought so hard and been through too much to let some Cancer infect our lives.<br />
So good luck and Good riddanceStacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-33301436726242695562012-08-26T20:32:00.001-05:002012-08-26T20:34:13.517-05:00Everything Happens for a Reason...Really??<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> My whole life, I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. I say it so much, that my sister actually says it before me! ( "I know I know, everything happens for a reason right??")</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">For instance:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> If I didn't marry my first crappy husband, I would never have met the wonderful husband I have now.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> If I didn't start to work as a CNA with my mom at the age of 17, I wouldn't have ever decided to become the awesome nurse I am today.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> If my mom didn't have an unresponsive episode, we would never have known that the cancer spread to her brain.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">There are tons more examples, but you get my drift.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So when I lost my job at the hospital at the end of July, after I cried of course,I thought to myself "well here we go again, everything happens for a reason"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">At this moment, I just don't know what that reason could be. Bryan just bought a truck, that he picked up the week before, we were planning a trip to Hershey Park that would set us back a few hundred bucks, and school is starting soon. Which is a horrible time to start a new schedule.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">After the initial first few weeks, I started to settle into a bit of a routine. I searched online and put out applications for jobs right away. My theory was, I wanted to start a new job as quickly as possible so I can have a routine for the kids before school starts, and I didn't want to start to get too comfortable being at home, being that being a SAHM was out of the question right now.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Well neither worked out.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I finally start orientation on Aug 29th for a home care agency that I joined that has a good rep and decent money. I probably should of called them first, but I was thinking of home care as a last resort of sorts.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Plus, I AM getting used to being at home,and I like it. A lot. *sigh*</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The more I think about it, maybe the agency is better. I can pick and choose my days and hours, which is a plus. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So I can spend more time with the family.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Hmmmm could that be the reason?</span>Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37376777.post-6955784005265298782012-07-09T21:00:00.002-05:002012-07-09T21:00:35.554-05:00OH LUCY...YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAINING TO DO!!We got a new addition to our house. She is black and white and so freaking cute I want to bite her face. However, she is too busy biting mine!<br />
Her name is Lucy and she is a Corgie mix puppy.<br />
She found my hubby at the rescue and their eyes met across a crowded kennel...it was love and first lick.<br />
My kids are in love, I am in love, and Bryan may not admit it, but so is he.<br />
She makes our little family complete and once I can figure out how to upload pictures I will post some here.<br />
<br />Stacy Ohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00130773210872445889noreply@blogger.com0