Well, today is one year that my life came crumbling down around me, one year since the pain and anger started, one year since everything i ever known to be was, poof! gone.
Thank God its over!!!
So year 2 starts. I thought today would be a sadder day, however I chose to surround myself w/friends and family, like I always do when I am in need.
My friend Stacie and her daughter Hope is coming over, which I cant wait, I just love them. Then my sis and niece are coming over to hang, then when the game starts, my bro may come over. My day is full and thats what I need today.
Somedays I look back at this long tormented year and think,"Wasn't it just yesterday that we were together and happy". Then I think about it and realize that is was alot longer than a year that we were unhappy and I still cant pinpoint when it all went wrong.
Supposedly he is "happy" with Kristina, ( I dont believe it b/c he isnt happy w/ himself) so its my turn now. I am working on it.
This morning S woke up at 5:45am, I brought her in the bed with me to snuggle. 10 min later I hear N. asking to go potty. So HE then comes in the bed with me. We are all under the covers in the dark and N has his arm around us and leans up and kissed S on the cheek and leaned over her to kiss me in the cheek, then layed back down.
As we snuggle some more it occurs to me...In the big scheme of life, things happen for a reason and things are eventually put into perspective. Laying in bed with my babies snuggling and getting kisses, is EXACTLY what I needed to start this day, and all I ever need!