Saturday, May 09, 2009

An Amazing Book

I just finished reading the most amazing book. The name is "Firefly Lane" by Kristin Hannah. I HIGHLY recommend it. It is about 2 best friends named Katie and Tully that met in the 8thgrade and became BFF and is spans through 30yrs of their life. Now, if you plan on reading it stop reading this now and come back later, when you finished it, cuz i'm about to spill the beans.....OK GO

So at the end of this book, it kicked my ass!! I never saw it coming and it made me so sad. One of the main characters dies of IBC. The same cancer my mom had, and it took her 3 chapters to die and it was the saddest thing i ever read. I really came to love these characters and it felt like loosing mom all over again. Like is said i never saw it coming at it really came out of left field in the book.
Ofcourse it is THIS weekend of all the weekends that i had to finish it. The timing couldn't be worse.
I wanna pass it on to my sis but i don't want it to send her right over the edge..
Sigh....I know Tomorrow is going to suck, even for B. It has been 5yrs for his mom, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I love him so much and i want to take his pain away too. I don't want the day to focus on just my loss. I AM a mother too, and my kids are my life. I try to be the best mom i can, and i know i don't have the patience i could have. My mom had alot of patience with us. Amazing, being that she had 4 of us, and I equaled 2 at least. (just like my daughter S :)
I had a dream about mom recently and it was like she was right here. She wasn't completely well, but she wasn't too sick either. This book brought back all the pain I had on the actually day she died. The character knew she was dying and talked about with her family and friends. My mom didnt get that chance. I felt she died so fast and i never had the chance to have a talk with her, and tell her what a great mom she was and how much i loved her, like this character did. The character talked about how it felt to be dying and i imagined that was how my mom was feeling and never told anyone. If she even knew.
I miss her so much, even making her Sauce and meatballs today, first time since her death, gives me an ache.
B is so good, and loving, and understanding. He took the girl to the library to get me another book. An autobiography. I need to get my mind off of this book.
Although i still think everyone should read it. It is a fast read and very good.
Happy Mothers Day to all my Friends and Family. Make it a good one.

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