'Tis the season I guess. I have death all around me. Change of season, I guess. At work, my residents are dying at a rapid rate. 3 in 2 weeks, and i still have a resident in the hospital that is a litte iffy.
My neighbor Deb just passed on Wed. I noticed the other day that there was a Medical Supply truck at her house delivering a hospital bed. Uggg, I know that truck well, and the memories hit me hard. I had to go in the house. She also had cancer, and she was also young. She has a 13yr old girl, that is at the prime of her life for a mother. The thought makes me tear up thinking about it.
We had my Neices B-day party on Saturday. 17. wow. My neighbors daughter, emily, had hers too. Hers was too sad, as well as ours. We both had to celebrate a party without the one person in our lives that we need there the most.
Saturday night, after reading the kids a book, S asked me to rock her and sing her "Bushel in a Peck"..."i love you, a bushel in a peck, a bushel in a peck and a hug around the neck......."
My mom sang that to us our whole lives, and she sang them to my kids too. so i sang it to her of course and by the end i had a lump in my throat, and tears in my eyes. she didnt understand why, and thats ok.
I just miss her everyday, and these next few months are gonna suck. This begins the "bulk" of the birthday months, that fall right into the holidays. I kinda wanna sleep through it all, but i must continue to be a wife and mom and be a functioning member of society.
They all say the first year is the hardest, well they were right.
It sucks that i cried on the way to work yesterday and ruined my makeup i just applied.
But alas, we are all Moving On....