So i don't know where to start......Mom looks like crap, Weak, thin, no hair.
Granted I didn't see her when she went through chemo in Fla, and i am sure it was much worse. She wont, or can't eat. No appetite. Her blood pressure has been low too. Frighteningly low. like 75/50 low. Which i am sure is making her weak as well.
I have NO idea what to do for her except try to feed her and talk to her, and pray for her. Dad is going to try to walk her around the house some everyday to get her some exercise. She needs to get sronger.
On Saturday morning i ran into her in the hallway at 5:30am. She looked like a walking skeleton, the one side of her hair was missing and the other side was sticking up. Sparingly. She also looked CRAZZZZY. Which made me cry the whole way to work and when i got there, i continued for at least 20 more minutes. I had everyone worried and wanting me to go home b/c I was a mess. But why would I go home to stare at what caused such distress.
That is not me. I DONT cry. EVER. (ok maybe twice, in the 3 yrs my ex has been gone. once when i filed for divorce and another time when i got the papers)
But i am not a cryer, never have been. So for me to break down like that in front of people was bad, and a little embarassing too.
I don't want to say that i feel in my heart that she is slowly dying.
But how long can she last like this???
I wanna cry again, so i must go..........