Im up early
I toss and turn
I have bad dreams.
That has been my life in the past few days. I got in a fight with my father on Saturday and my sister on sunday.
I just can't believe that i am even fighing this fight.
Because of an incident that happened at my brothers house, my father feels the need to help him with the rent. Fine. But at the same time he wants to give him the rent that he gives us (which is minimal) but still live here. Hmmm that doesnt sound right.
But to him it makes perfect sense. Give away our rent, but still live here, eat here, do laundry, run the tv, the air etc....
My solution: give him the rent, but live there and get something for it. Makes sense right??
No. got us in a huge fight. Huge. then he went and told my sister about it and said that i felt she was a burden when SHE lived here last summer. (which i never said) and now WE are in a fight.
The only ones not in a fight is me and lou, i think. I havent talked to him. Maybe we are and i dont know it.
What people dont understand is that i have had people living with me since last June. I never minded that except everyone lived here to "get back on their feet" but then knocked me off mine. they thought giving me a few bucks to live here was enough to cover the bills they made. And it wasnt. But i never said anything, to anyone.
But then i feel HUGELY taken advantage of, when things like this come up and i feel completly screwed.
I am now in a very god place in my life, and my family knows it. I think my dad thinks that me and B dont "need" the extra money so he'll just give it away to someone that does. Not Fair. I am all for helping and i think we have proved that many many times, but i feel we are not reciprocated.
Some people think that watching my children every now and again, takes the place of money owed and living arrangements, and free furniture, things they need. But you know what does?? Gratitude and respect, and not jumping on the ban wagon of whoever is mad at the moment, without hearing both sides of the story.
Anywho, as of lastnight, i think dad is going next door. I am glad. Lou needs his help right now. I just wish it was on different terms here...