Happy Birthday

Dear Mom,

Happy Birthday!!! I can't believe you are 70. I never thought you looked your age, ever. So when you joked about being 39 at every birthday, it wasnt far off.

This year has been the hardest in my life so far. Harder than my first year married, (which everyone says is the hardest), harder than my first year divorced (ditto), even harder than my first year as a mom. Probably because YOU were here to help me through all of that.

There has been alot of turmoil this year. Besides spending all the "firsts" of everything without you, the family felt like it was crumbling at times. Me and Luann wasn't talking for a while, me and dad were fighting. Now that is resolved. Lou and Laura are on a "trial seperation". We joke that when Laura went to jail you flipped in your grave, and now she is pulling the crap she is now, you flipped back.

I know that you are watching over all of us at all times. Lou really needs your strength and wisdom now.

I am starting a new job tomorrow. Its at Brookhaven hospital, the one hospital I have always said I don't wanna be a part of.. Well, I look at it this way, maybe I can be the one nurse that can make a difference there. Maybe one patient will leave there and say they had a good experience with one nurse. It is a good situation for my family right now.

I miss you terribly, really terribly. I feel i need to take over where you left off, even though I'm not the oldest. I feel I have to be the strongest one, the one that cant break down and show how much I miss you. Its always been that Lou is the sensitive one, and Lu breaks down constantly, so I have to hold it together. Well just so you know, I'm not that strong. I cry alot. On the way to work mainly because I have 30min to myself in the car , when Sara lets me. That is where I think about you the most, and miss you the most.

I love you every day, you are never far from my thoughts. I hope your doing ok up there. I don't want you to worry about us here. We are all Moving On...