Saturday, October 29, 2011

I Haven't Cried Yet..

I haven't cried yet. I don't feel like I have to either. That is wierd to me. The weeks prior to the tubal I was having dreams. Many of them. Very wierd baby dreams, even Nick had a dream I was pregnant. I was feeling sad, and like I was going to be missing out on something. I truly felt in my heart that I wasn't finished having babies. As crazy as my life is, and as bad as my kids were being at the time, I still had that feeling.
So Tuesday was THE DAY.. We went to The Ambulatory Center at Stonybrook . They were all very nice. I waited about 10 min to go in, the RN was with me immedietly. I met everyone that will be involved in the surgery, including the cute, young, med student. Ugggg. It was very fast and very professional. I have to say I had absolutely NO complaints about the place. I was in and out in the time they said, and the pain was what they said it would be. The worse part was the head cold I was getting and got full on, that night. It really knocked me out, so between that and the surgery pain, I have felt pretty useless. Today is the first day that I have felt close to normal. The pain is down to an ache now and my head cold isnt bad at all.
I am waiting for the longing, and saddness to kick in, Even Bryan was surprised that I wasn't a mess. I guess I am relieved that I'm not. I suppose the anticipation was worse than the actual act.
I Still love the babies, but now I can just give them back...
I have come to realize that my family is perfect the way it is, and we are all just Moving On....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you are fine. Don't forget the Midol.
Aunt P